In the past 2+ years, it’s hard to have a conversation without the subject of Covid being involved in some capacity. I literally had been thinking all this time that I was a ninja because I had yet to get Covid and it turns out, sadly, I am human, and got Covid last week. As I laid in my bed, I started thinking about how many people, companies and industries have been affected by this pandemic and have had to constantly pivot in order to adapt and survive the waves that it has brought us. In the pleasure products industry, like many others, we have had to endure supply chain issues, materials shortages and crazy price increases to name a few. Have you ever heard stories of pallets of dildos sitting in the middle of the ocean and thought it was a joke? It surely is not!  

What’s even more interesting to me is how many people discovered SO many new things about themselves, their partners, their likes and all things in between. To be a bit more specific, there was a HUGE surge during covid for anal and BDSM products, which means everyone discovered they had a butt and liked things a little rough! Should it have taken a pandemic and people being literally locked inside their houses to discover these wonderful things? I wish it didn’t, but the reality is that there are still a lot of stigmas associated with butt play and with BDSM. Let’s dig in a little deeper, shall we?

I can understand that anal play can make some people a bit squeamish. The idea of sexual pleasure coming from where you poop isn’t enticing for everyone. I’ve heard people say, “that’s an ‘exit only’ hole,” or, “I’d never let anyone near my butthole. That’s gross.” However, once you can get past that, there’s actually a lot to be desired. Here’s a little biology for you. The anus is part of both the male and female sexual system (duh, Steph, we knew that already). The external anal sphincter is one of the most sensitive parts of the human body with one of the densest concentrations of nerve endings. You can get a lot of pleasure out of external anal stimulation without ever going inside. If you do try anal penetration, you’ll find the internal anal sphincter. This muscle is involuntary and only relaxes when the body wants to open up—this is why you can’t rush anal sex and also why you MUST USE LUBE! Through external touch and arousal, the internal sphincter begins to relax and open, giving way to the rectum. Internal anal stimulation is pleasurable for the sense of pressure and fullness it creates. Internal stimulation can also reach the clitoris and the root of the penis from inside, adding another layer of pleasure. Anal sex can range from very light external stimulation all the way up to full penetration. Your experience is up to you to decide. So, when people say, “That’s gross,” or, “It’s an ‘exit only’ hole,” I will ask them, “Have you ever actually tried it?” In truth, most people either have not because of fear or they are grossed out by it. So, how can you know what you do or do not like if you have never tried it?

I was thrilled to find out that Covid helped people get more comfortable with discovering their butts and we continue to work towards breaking down stigmas and judgements! The fact of the matter is, there is such a wide variety of toys designed for anal play, so it really is a whole new world for many people. You have your standard butt plugs, to vibrating ones, squirting dildos for pegging (yay POP Dildo!), all the way to anal fisting trainers where you can train to stretch your anus for increased pleasure. Never heard of pegging? Add it to your list of things to check out!  This brings us to our next topic of BDSM which also grew in popularity during Covid. People also discovered they enjoy being kinky!

So, what is BDSM? BDSM is an umbrella term that refers to a spectrum of sexual behaviors and preferences that can be divvied up into the groups of bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Most people think of BDSM as it was depicted in Fifty Shades of Grey, which, when it came out, was when everyone in the world started talking about subs and doms. Sadly, that movie was a very poor representation of what real BDSM is. While Christain Gray was alluring and intriguing, he was not what most would call a typical dom, and the relationship portrayed was not an accurate portrayal of a BDSM relationship. In the real world of BDSM, the biggest key is CONSENT. This is something that is non-negotiable. There are definitely safe words that are used and the level of communication is at an all time high. It requires this kind of communication to have a successful BDSM relationship. Which makes perfect sense that we saw an increase in BDSM and kink play during Covid because we were all quarantined in our houses with nothing to do but talk, communicate and for many, try kinky sex!

One of my favorite kink toy companies is Tantus. I may be a little biased since they also manufacture POP Dildo, however, their kink toys are next level. If you have not checked out their silicone paddles, I highly recommend doing so. There are some for beginners all the way to very experienced kinksters. They also have their XL collection, which can be slightly daunting at first glance, but if you really find your way into the world of kink, I would guess you will end up owning one of their XL toys.

The bottom line here is this: you never know what you like until you try it. Don’t be afraid to explore your body and your fantasies! Seriously people, let’s not wait for another pandemic to find the P-spot and G-spot!    

Until next time…

Steph “Spermin’” Berman